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Locked Up (Entry#00038)

you were so unfair

you shut me out completely

didn’t even hear me out

made myself vulnerable

told you how much i loved you

yet it’s nothing to you

you made up your mind

not wanting me to be part of your life

what did i do wrong?

everynight i get no sleep

sadness creeping in

you wont leave my heart in peace

take this pain away

take it all

set me free

-changdroid

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Moonshine

Im walking on the sidewalk and i noticed the moon is shining bright.

i look up in the night sky thinking of you then hoping you were seeing it too.

the cold wind blew past me, i shivered. my skin almost felt your arms around me. i knew it would feel warm and nice

i let my mind get lost in picturing you and me together, smiling.

our hands entwined, shoulders brushing, walking so close to each other. 
hoping that this night won’t end. wanting you to be real this time.

you may be far away but you’ve always been in my heart and mind and for me it’s a perfect night. 

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You are the one i love 

I never thought i’d say the word i love you again

You came in to my life and i didn’t know i would fall in love hard

i let myself be vulnerable to you and you are with me

we talked about everything and had a lot of good times and few misunderstandings

but for months of being together, you never failed to make me feel alive again

you made me believe on myself and develop self confidence, made me a better person than i was before
yes, i was terrified at first. i had doubts and lots of questions on my mind

“is it really you that was meant for me, the one i have been waiting for so long?”

” am i ready to take jump and fall in love hard?”

” will i be able to make you happy?”

“am i willing to be hurt again?”
thinking about everything we had together, all those questions were answered and i say YES. i am willing to go through this with you by my side.

Im in love with you. Lionel 

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Melancholy of a selfish girl

I never thought I’d be such a cruel person.

I led you on. I never thought that I will fall in love with you and it will come to this.

And now I am going to leave you, without even explaining what happened.

I can’t bear to tell you all of this. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry but I am a bad person for doing this.
The first time we met, it was all an accident. It was funny that we became friends. Hit it off together like we knew each other all along.

Then all of a sudden you confessed that you liked me. I was flattered. I told you i liked you too but i was in a daze.

I never thought i would like you, you were not my ideal man. You smoke and drink and party every night. A social butterfly they said..

I accepted you anyway, you were so kind and loving. Time passed and i know i am liking you so much now.

I am selfish, i don’t want to get hurt by you and I don’t want to hurt you too so while its not that too deep,  i’m going to leave you.